if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize