Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
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