hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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