One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
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