so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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