i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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