I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I did not marry a roomba.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize