Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize