atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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