Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize