im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
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I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
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weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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