i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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