Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
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i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
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It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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