Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
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I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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