I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a dog bed..
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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