BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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