Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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