you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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