friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
My life is pants optional.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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