Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize