So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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