The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize