i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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