Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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