just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
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She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
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....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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