Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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