I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Come see our sink grown plant.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize