I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
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Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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