this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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