The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
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Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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