She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
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All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
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As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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