hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
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Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
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My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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