Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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