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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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