he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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