I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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