Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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