If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
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