he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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