Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I think I just sharted jello shots
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