I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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