She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize