I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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