We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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