Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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