I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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