i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize