It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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