I'm so fucking centered right now
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He felt like a one man threesome
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
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