I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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